I would love to do all these when ASAP but i need $$$
white water rafting
oversea with friends
somewhere with blue waters and caves
sky diving, if i ever have the chance.
BTW, latest posts below, okie dokie! =D
by Hannah 1:51 PM
after everything, i know i'm not strong enough for you. No matter wad i say, i can't hold you back anymore. i want to become stronger. not for you but for myself. to be more confident to be a strong woman that deserves to be loved by someone.
by Hannah 10:17 PM
think about the positives rather than the negatives.
I know he loves me. it was my insecurity that made him insecure too.
all i hope now is that he talks to me asap. i want to tell him that i love him too.
by Hannah 11:23 PM
haven't eaten at all in the whole day no appetite. my heart feels as empty as my tummy. but my mind is full of you. hoped with all my heart that every call i received today would be from you but to my disappointment... ... couldn't take it and went to call you. Your hp is finally on. you would have seem my text.. but still no reply. did u really mean what you said? is this really over for us? all sorts of thoughts are running through my mind. don't know how to go on like this.
by Hannah 6:18 PM
i've cried my heart out. tears roll down every moment i think of you. the
thought that you love me no more hurts. its so painful. do you not know how i feel about you? U used to ask me that very qn. and everytime, i think, NO. but don't u know how i really feel about you? i want to hear your voice telling me its all gonna be okay and you will give me a hug and a kiss n tell me you love me. because i do, i do, i do! but do you know?! waiting for your call is killing me. WHAT IF you never call... wad am i supposed to do?! leave it be? feeling so heartbroken, my love where have you gone? its so hard.. really so hard..
by Hannah 2:26 PM
i might go crazy.
sometimes i really wonder if he loves me. I feel it sometimes but the actions usually don't support it. Don't know who to believe. He's very different from all the guy's i've known. i've tried to meet his needs and be understanding but no1's gonna meet mine. Can i accept that? I've been told, i'm too nice. thats why i always get bullied and taken advantage off. why am i always willing to give in but it dosen't seem to be making things better? Does playing hard to get really work? why won't people treasure the things that they have? I know that he has a scar and maybe i pushed too hard, i don't know. I was upset he felt that way... maybe thats how he felt about me too.? I've waited a whole night. still haven't gotten a reply. how long would i have to wait? or will it all come to nought. i've explained my part, is he willing to listen? or will he let past scars in the way. i've got nothing to complain, it was me who put it there in the 1st place. What is the truth.. tell me the truth..
so many different views, nothing positive. It seems like i'm waiting for the impossible. (a miracle has to appear) i really don't know if i can take it.
I'm afraid i've fallen so hard, i can't get out this time.
by Hannah 1:04 PM
i screwed up!!! when i realized, it was sooooo embarrassing!
it was plain stupidity!! i'll blame it on the nerves :)
will just have to try again next time! =D
the holidays are starting soon!
just one more day of school left!
i'm looking forward to pig out, waking up late every morning.
by Hannah 6:40 PM
crap.. i haven't blogged in ages.
i miss hariani. and the fun and different places that we've been to.
we only go to those places when she is ard. :(
and HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREA!!
i'm so sorry the photoshoot was cancelled.
everyone was soo looking forward to it. damn the stupid photographer -.-
went to the doctor today.. cus of the stupid bursting bladder i had for the past few days.
i'm diagnosed with acute urinary tract infection. damn... wad have i been doing?!
have got to drink loads of water and REMEMBER to eat my antibiotics. have to get well!
i'm thinking of planning a short trip overseas to somewhere near
but okay.. i suck at planning.. someone please help me!!
i would love it if someone else does it though. i'm just a little follower :))
anyway, money would be the first consideration.. ..
and yes i hate arguing with people, so if you love arguments, please stay out of my way -.-
it pisses me off that some people can pick up arguments on such insignificant and lame matters!
its hard for me to believe it but sadly, its true. its just a big question mark to me. oh well... ...
what is fun? fun means soo many different things to different people.
i want to do something fun but what can i do? clubbing is not an option.
and i hate the fact that everything revolves around $$.
cus i don't have it.
an alarm of a car downstairs is ringing itself away. SOMEBODY CALL 911.. ..
by Hannah 12:34 AM
11 days have past and i'm still counting.
its soooooo long... :(
it feels like i'm talking to the wall sometimes.
HURRY BACK BABY
by Hannah 11:45 AM
ponned sch today.. tsktsk.
just to spend more time with him :)
got him to make lunch after much 'persuasion'.
*happy* feeling so blissful. <3
by Hannah 11:52 PM
my tummy's acting weird...
it keeps churning and i don't know whats wrong.
by Hannah 10:26 PM
Happy 19th birthday mama!
i may not be your perfect friend but you know I LOVE YOU okay!
by Hannah 3:07 AM
Thanks girls for helping out @ the flea!
so glad that i managed to get rid of my stuff
even managed to earn a profit of $70+
even though most of the stuff sold was at a pathethic range of $1-3!
suprisingly, everyone just grabbed the ONLY the tees
and i've got tonns of other stuff left!
till the next flea then!
Tending the stall needs energy!
not very secretly hoping they would buy something!
boonboon! best sales person of the day!
tooo tooo toooo much stuff!
by Hannah 2:39 AM
he sang he a song and told me to listen to the lyrics.
even though it wasn't very clear on my side,
everything i heard just sounded sooo sweet.
i felt so happy and touched and overwhelmed,
i teared. bet he didn't know. lol
by Hannah 11:53 PM
i've been sick for a WHOLE WEEK
and i don't seem to be getting any better.
my parents say i just have to get more rest.
but i think i'm getting enough?
daddy even bribed me so that i wouldn't go to the doc.
and yes, i accepted it. zzz.
sorry to whoever i spread it to though.
i just can't shut myself at home all the time!
i need my grades and $$ !!
well.. i wish someone was here to cuddle me..
but there's more that i've got to worry about..
someone can't move bout much,
due to a twisted ankle and falling too much on his knees while outfield.
so much for having a dislocated arm just a week before!
he would be going for an x-ray on wed but i can't accompany him :(
(stupid sch! i already skipped once..)
its been a bad week..
by Hannah 10:04 PM
sch is reopening tml.
i'm actually dreading it, not very sure why though.
the only good thing i can say about it is that at least all 4 days of my classes are in the same room.
hannah had her virgin trip to club and the experience, all i can say is tiring.
i'm just a slacker.. and can conclude that after this, i need not do any exercise for the rest of the week.
mama tot i was going to lie to him about it. NO! I'M A GOOD GIRL!
stupid lies would only destroy everything but i at least need some corporation from someone :)
no unreasonable demends so i don't have to lie..! right?
its not very nice though.. to go out with someone in NS.
you will only get to see him like once a week (maybe more if you're lucky)..
and have to make the day that he's out free (if not, it means i don't wanna see him?)
find like lots of means to keep yourself occupied, just cus i don't like being bored.
but in the end, i'm too busy for him?
no1 to touch, no1 to see, not much to hear either.. how sad can life get.
whats worse is the feeling of so near yet so far :(
sometimes i miss you so much, i feel so empty..
but, i can't complain, i can't complain! cus its not his fault..
like that how to be understanding gf.. zzz..(working on it)
by Hannah 5:40 PM
okay.. i spent money.. and mummy's killing me for it.
guess how i did it?
i went to yunnam hair care for free treatment and got phyco-ed into buying the treatment and their products.
i seriously admit they have skill...
if i could spend money on my hair, i should have spent it 1st on my face,right?
now my bank's left with $26, i don't know if i should bangwall or not but
now all i can do is to think of ways to earn back the $600..
all that i've worked for during this holidays will be used to cover that cost. =.=so much for trying soo hard to save money and its all gone in a few hrs.
anyway, since the holidays, i've been rather busy, with what, i can't even remember!
i think i should blog more often.
p.s I've got my licence already! woohoo!! just that, i still can't park YET.
by Hannah 9:43 PM
(old pic which i dug out)
think i'm in love, AGAIN ;)
by Hannah 1:37 AM
suprisingly, i rejected a date with mama and hariani just to study.
BUT I'm freakin bored now! arghh!!
have to get nice GPA, just have to!! thats why got to study.
daily grades are just average but at least i'm very happy about my attendance.
i religously physco-d myself to go to sch this WHOLE sem. :)
and once AGAIN, i declare myself broke.
this time, i highlighted my hair and got a new haircut =D
all andrea's fault.!
not looking forward to next sem's fyp. actually dreading it.
and the holidays, they're already here! BUT i can't enjoy myself yet.
after UT3s, TP test and PPCDL test.
then, i've got to find a way to get cash, to spend..
if not, i'll bore myself to death if i stay at home all day.
the point is i don't wanna work =.=
p.s. i miss you already and i want to see you.
by Hannah 7:53 PM
i don't know what i am doing
neither do i know what i want.
all i can say to you is that i'm sorry i not what you want me to be.
never was and might never be.
times have changed, situations have too
but most importantly the feelings arn't the same.
its not that theres nothing.
its just that theres not THAT MUCH.
i know it hurts you. i know i hurt you.
yet, i can't help myself.
its not your fault,
its just mine.
heart and mind are going different ways.
its time to tell you,
that i've been guilty all this while
and i think i can't take it much longer.
its totally not my call nor my say.
its been that way since that day..
now its up to you to decide if you still can linger on.
as i'm afraid i might be once again, gone.
once is enough for you. no twice.
i don't want it to be that way either.
i'm afraid. i just can't seem to take a step forward.
just cus i did it to you, you might do the same.
i've got no confidence, i can't commit.
treating you this way has no merits.
i don't want to do it anylonger.
make a choice, i can't make mine.
now i'm stuck. do you see why?
all the feelings you've given to me, i just can't repay...
by Hannah 12:32 AM
i haven't blogged in almost 2 months!!
I've gotten much tanner since ...
FYP's finally over, other than the presentation but yeh..
TP test is gonna be in a month's time. i hope i pass on the 1st try.
've gone for power boating lessons,
which has already put me back my $250..
met up with denny and jasden, whom i haven't seen in more then 2 years.
and of course the scouties too..
can't wait till when i get to participate in a flea.
i just can't be bothered with that freakinposer of mine anymore, much let alone jtbay.
wait till i can sell off all those clothes that have gathered dust in my hse.
then everything NEW can come in! heh heh..
i've forgotten to choose my elective!! OMGOMG..
by Hannah 12:49 AM
out pops a cold sore, AGAIN...
which makes me look fringin UGLY
i'm going ballistic
and so much for 57 people in RP getting h1n1 virus still nothing evident is getting done about it.
took matters into my own hands and decided to cut class!
well... i should actually give credit to my lazyness that i overslept but yeh..
as i have not so lately discovered, i simply ADOREeee fleas.
being able to whiff out those bargains purely make my day..
the joy i feel when exploiting my gift of spotting rock-bottom prices
together with the fact that DADDY's PAYING
makes me fly to the top of the world :)
by Hannah 12:17 AM
sometimes, i feel rather dumb,
going to find trouble with myself.
if i don't know anything, won't it be even better?
i shouldn't waste my time on silly things like this.
with the girls today.
we sang our throats hoarse.
stayed over at nana's ytd
to get fyp
was the only one who got down to doing anything.mr wadshisname
friend) came over too.
we ended up watching scary shows again..
i hate scary shows..
also had work that day.
and i recieved
my beautiful payslip.
i earned $6.70!
which was after the deduction of CPF
which is soo
, finally the last of the UT1s are over.
had lovely sharksfin
b4 going off to driving lesson.
till now, after 12 practical lessons, i'm
still so jialat
, happy 53rd birthday papa! + happy father's day.
celebrated it the previous week at the red house,
which had gorgeously tasting crabs.
last sat, went to life's a beach with wz
+ sissy & friends
sissy still likes him as much as b4.i'm
not sure bout myself though.
went with an empty bag but came back with a bloated one.
there were so many goodies given out!
i think i got a tiny bit darker?
i want to takeup
, met xm
to help him with his survey.
along in the pretext of getting her 20% body shop vouchers.
mama popped by too.
while waiting for grp
be done, xm
were being stalked by this girl.
it was damn funny.xm
was also afraid that i would get attacked by her.
we ended up sneaking away while she wasn't looking.
p.s. it would be brainless to let nonsensical
comments get to me.
by Hannah 11:00 PM
i'm itching and scratching, with tiny dots ard my neck.
its killing me!
i don't even know if its an allergy or sth else...
the holis came and gone like the wind, it feels like it was never there.
grp managed to get a large part of the fyp report done, which i've got to thank them.
they slogged while i was away to KL with parents+mama.
and i think my fyp grp is damn cool lar..
playing hard and working
here are some pics frm the trip 8-12june
during the road trip
in the pool! - at night
up on the twin towers
exploring the spa
swimming pool! - in the day
no dogs allowed!
this car has a PHD!
family without sissy :(
cosmo world theme park
us in our cheras condo
p.s i got my hair chopped off, SHORT and got it dyed sherry red
by Hannah 12:44 AM
its been ages since i've done this kinda things
but since i'm bored, here goes...
WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: coke?
2. Last phone call: frm hariani
3. Last text message: frm xm
4. Last song you listened to: no idea, i don't know song tittles
5. Last time you cried: not within the last 3 weeks, that i know..
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: yes
7. Been cheated on: well... i don't think so?
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: yah...
9. Lost someone special: lost as in died.. or wad?
10. Been depressed: i've got those moments
11. Been drunk and threw up: nah..
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: i think so..
16. Fallen out of love: yupyup
17. Laughed until you cried: almost?
18. Met someone who changed you: if someone can do that, he'd be a genius.
19. Found out who your true friends were: Yes.
20. Found out someone was talking about you: yahh
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: yesh...
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: lets say 70%?
23. How many kids do you want? 2 cute ones.
24. Do you have any pets: Nope.
25. Do you want to change your name: No way..
26. What did you do for your last birthday: hmm... celebrated it at home? it least i got a nice cake.
27. What time did you wake up today: almost 1
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: out chatting
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: i can't think of anything.
30. Last time you saw your Mother: a few mins ago?
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: well.. maybe if i was a little smarter?
32. What are you listening to right now : nothing?
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: tommy counted?
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: mama's asking me to tell stupid stories. lol
35. Most visited webpage: mysoju. lol
36. Whats your real name: HANNAH
37. Nicknames: hanhan. nahnah. hannag.. etc?
38. Relationship Status: single and avaliable :)
39. Zodiac sign: horse
40. Male or female?: Female!
41. Primary School?: Peitong
42. Secondary School?: Jin Tai
43. High school/college?:Republic poly
44. Hair color: i just dyed it sherry red..
45. Long or short: just chopped it off, short
46. Height: 170
47. Do you have a crush on someone? : i was hoping i do
48: What do you like about yourself? : actually everything.. =x
49. Piercings: only 2
50. Tattoos: nohave.
51. Righty or lefty: Righty.
52. First surgery: eh..none
53. First piercing: i think like in sec 3 or sth la
54. First best friend: kindergarden i think
55. First sport you joined: sports and i just don't go..
56. First vacation: babybaby
58. First pair of trainers: when i could wear shoes?
59. Eating: nasi lemak
60. Drinking: nothing
61. I'm about to: go change
62. Listening to: nothing
63. Waiting for: its more like people are waiting for me.
YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: i guess so..
65. Get Married? : yupyup!
66. Career?: havent thought about it.
WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: Eyes.
68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs? but i'd love both
69. Shorter or taller: Taller.
70. Older or Younger: it depends.
71. Romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: eh.. i greedy, want both!
73. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive?
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship (;
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Hesitant
HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: nah.
77. Drank hard liquor: yup
78. Lost glasses/contacts: 4 eye : manage to find them in the end
79. Sex on first date: nono
80. Broken someone's heart: i guess so
82. Been arrested: no :)
83. Turned someone down: yar..
84. Cried when someone died: at the very last minute
85. Fallen for a friend?: guilty but yes..
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: of cus!
87. Miracles: YEAH
88. Love at first sight: not really
89. Heaven: yupyup
90. Santa Claus: no =.-
91. Kiss on the first date: why not?
92. Angels: mmhmm
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: nope! =D
95. Did you sing today?: just not yet
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: well.. i didn't consider it cheating?
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? : no idea man
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: eh.. the day i was born?
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: nope
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: yeSHYESH
by Hannah 1:42 PM
the truth is that it really sucks and hurts when you hear unpleasent stuff about yourself but you know, its just all for the sake of making you a better person.
after having a lot of people saying me, i have finally relented decided that i have to be a better person due to lots of reasons, mainly, to be able to get a guy? and to make a good 1st impression.
i think i finally see the light...
Things that I would try to change
Reduce my whining
Be more gentle
Walk less lazily
Put more effort into dressing up and looking good
Act less crazily
Think before i talk
Stop being so lazy
Act like a girl
Be more patient and tolerant
More accepting of criticism
Eat not so roughly
i have to be reminded frequently on i've got to change, if not, i might just stop halfway.
by Hannah 11:18 PM
i had a lovely time for my 19th birthday.
I've got to thank everyone who made the effort to make it for my birthday and those who had wished me :) Thanks guys!
by Hannah 11:30 PM
i guess i've got to thank mama for holding me back from being a bitch that i really am.
even though its not always pleasant to the ear, i know it makes me a better person.
although i think it would be fine to be a bitch once in a while, since i'm such a sweetie most of the time, yeah?
by Hannah 11:06 PM
woke up at an unearthly hr of 6am though the others at 4/5am.
ponned sch to help mummy at work.
of course there was the pay incentive of $10/hr!
roped in cussies + friend, andrea + friend and the guys to help too.
job was relatively simple,
we just had to register the people coming for the conference;
tick their names on the attendance list and give out their name tags and materials
and help wherever was needed.
since the main registration was only from 8-9am and 1-2pm,
we spent most of our time slacking ard and eating frm the buffet.
it was a damn great job to do.
slacky + good pay = my ideal job
and had fun working with them too!
neatly placed tags!
free photos 4 us =D
by Hannah 11:18 PM
yay! i've added my to-do/wants list at the side!
and i didn't add in that i want more clothes or anything of such.
i should be proud of myself :)
for the 2nd week in a row, i skipped work.
i was betting with myself and i thought i won but in the end i lost..
oh well.. nvm.
fyp's not really getting anywhere.
we want to get stuff done but time's and money is a restriction,
it so sickening!
and wads with all the mood swings? argh..
by Hannah 12:19 AM
Y camp! 24-26 april
joined it as a 1st-aider but not knowing a single thing sort of sucked.
wasn't able to help much but i still did my best =S
i thought the camp was quite meaningful as the beneficiaries really did enjoy themselves and they were just so enthu in everything they did.
just being able to see their smiling faces made me want to smile too!
the organising committee, logistics and first-aiders!
by Hannah 12:10 AM
little wallet came back!!
i'm so happy and thankful to the person who very sweetly delievered it right to my doorstep.
it was found at NUS's carpark where it dropped when daddy sent me to work.
i had actually planned to get my ic and pdl made again today but due to feeling lazy and unforseen circumstances, i didn't manage to get them done. if i had made them, it would have cost $125!!!
the only thing i've already made is my atm card, which cost $5. pwhew..
PLUS, i also signed up for my debit card. heheh =D
by Hannah 10:19 PM
poor little wallet got lost and can't be found.
have reported it to the police.. emo..
by Hannah 11:17 PM
went back for scouts today.
only knew the sec 4's which were tiny sec1's when we left.
were asked to help to train the newbies but it was more like disturbing them.
i want the new rusa tee!
so we can just walk into sch without being stopped.
by Hannah 6:34 PM
1st ever driving lesson.
super duper scary!
the instructor said i gripped the steering too tightly.
i was super scared and nervous.
hope i learn it fast (:
by Hannah 10:05 PM
by Hannah 11:59 PM